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Everyone talks about the “rules of technology.”
Screen time rules. Group chat rules. When-not-to-use-all-caps rules.
But honestly? I wish someone had sat me down and explained the real rules.
Like:
You’re on the phone with your mother, and your husband clicks in. WHO wins?
Is there a family phone call hierarchy no one told me about? A hidden chart somewhere?
You’re chatting with your married son on his walk home from Maariv, and your new daughter-in-law clicks in. That really feels like a trap.
You’re talking to one of your kids in camp, but someone else is calling with important shidduch information and you’re on the resume so you feel responsible to answer.
Do you hang up on your chold? Or pretend the second call never happened and blame it on “bad reception”? Do I respond with the text “can I call you later?” Is that better or worse than not answering at all?!!
You’re at the dinner table — zero phones allowed, strict household policy — and suddenly your phone rings with a work emergency.
Why do I constantly feel like I need a whistle and a referee shirt for so many phone calls? 🤭
Am I supposed to know who outranks who?!
Imagine if Artificial intelligence could review your call history, run a little emotional algorithm, and send a signal:
“This one gets priority. Trust me.” ‼️
I’m waiting for the day.
Or wait, am I? 🤔
Will we one day need to rely on artificial intelligence and algorithms to actually decide whose call to take?
That’s a scary thought! — as much as a part of me would love to outsource these decisions! “It’s not my fault… Apple told me to ignore you!”
Because really, these moments aren’t just about phones. They’re about people. About roles and relationships.
So when someone calls, it’s not just about them — it’s about what they represent: loyalty, obligation, guilt, closeness, expectations.
That’s why these decisions feel so loaded.
…it’s not just a time management question.
It’s a self-awareness moment.
How do I choose which call to take?
Ask Yourself: Am I choosing from my Adult Self? (Click for more on this!)
Or from the anxious kid who doesn’t want to upset anyone, the dutiful daughter, the fixer, the avoider, the people-pleaser?
But sometimes, I just need to answer the call quickly. 'Aint got no time for self-therapy.
So, it’s just me, guessing which call will lead to the least amount of therapy.
❤️, Shifi
p.s. Since there are still no Official Guidelines … I did attempt to make one (see below)
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