THE Gift of Summer ⛱Aug 29, 2022
Summer is a super time for positive memories!
Truthfully, the things we remember from our childhoods and the things we have forgotten are subjective and complex. (In fact, often our siblings remember things entirely differently – and that really should make us wonder!). Yet these memories become a big part of who we are and who we are becoming. These memories accompany us as we go through life.
Sometimes parents may think to themselves: “what is the point of spending time with my younger children…it’s not as if they’re going to remember it anyway…”
(Ok, I admit I’ve thought about this question! But I can’t imagine that I’m the only one…😬)
For sure my two year old will not remember going swimming with her father. So is it really worth the effort? My 7- year old will not remember that family bike riding trip for 5 miles when he’s older. So yeah…is it realllly worth it?! Especially on a hot day!
Maybe we should be spending our energy on the old children who have the best memories who actually have a chance at remembering? Maybe, we should be taking them to the farm and to apple picking only starting at age 17? Or even better— at age 35? (It does make me LOL at the thought of a 70 year mother bringing her 45 year old son to Urban Air in order to create memories.)
Now that scene actually would be memorable! Especially for the Urban Air Staff! 🤣
But even with our adult children — will they really remember that homemade supper I made for them? Or that time I surprised them in Yeshiva for their birthday? Or the time I babysat their own children so they could go on a vacation?
"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
Important memories dwell in a sensory, emotional place - a place without words. It makes little difference where we were. And how old we were. That’s all in the details. Most importantly is how connected we felt.
For creating memories now, how present and how available we are to our children is what will be remembered.
Summer is a blessed excuse to put our crazy lives on hold and to take time to be present. (As the 2022 teens like to say “we’re hectic!”) It doesn’t matter where or when or how old our child is.
A walk in the park with a child, a late night BBQ, asking your child advice about something that’s going on in your personal life, sitting on the grass listening to music as a family, taking the time to learn about your child’s triggers or asking him if he’s ever been bullied before, or doing something spontaneous and fun that no one has time for all year, or just chilling on the couch shmoozing. These are great examples of what will create positive, healthy memories.
While it is true that we have little control over what details we and our children end up remembering, we do know that the most significant positive memories are the memories that remind us of how loved we are. And that we have someone in our lives who takes an interest in who we are.These are the memories that dwell in us without us even remembering the details, the ones we don’t need to have pictures of or need a “cute caption” for.
Summer provides those extra few minutes to ask your child in a meaningful way “, how was your day?”
(By the way, that should have had your child’s name (if applicable) inserted for full fun effect! If it didn’t, update your profile. Link below!)
Let’s take these next few weeks. To be present. To Just Be. To be available. To be phone-free. Focused. On giving ourselves, our families, our children the gift of Just Being. The gift that often comes along with Summer.
… and actually, an adult family urban air trip is sounding more and more tempting!
Share the Socially Appropriate-ISH newsletter with a friend or family member!