Planning for Purim!

purim Mar 15, 2022

Planning for Purim!

Click on the Pic to download this handout to Print and Use! 


Coping Ahead is the skill of preparing ourselves in advance how we will handle potentially triggering scenarios - so we react more appropriately if (when) they happen! Coping Ahead helps us prepare mentally and emotionally for difficult situations, so that we don’t overreact in the moment. It is a valuable skill for ourselves and for our children of all ages. 


Let’s try this with a practical example. Purim is a day on which every emotion is heightened to the max! Excitement is heightened! But so are our negative emotions. As my good friend says, “Purim is like having all your children’s birthdays on the same day.” 


I can safely say that on the morning of Purim, I feel a combination of Excitement, Happiness, Worry, Fear, Anxiety, Frustration, Guilt, Shame, Disappointment, and Jealousy.  And I’m not gonna lie - yes, I feel a little Embarrassment too - when someone comes to the door with a perfectly packaged Mishloach Manos and themed costumes — and I hand them back a Laffy Taffy taped to a pretzel. 


And so, Purim is a great  opportunity to review emotions and to experiment with planning to cope in advance. This “coping ahead” will diffuse the intensity of our reactions!  To Cope Ahead, review the emotions you’ve experienced in past years - and prepare yourself and your kiddies mentally since you will probably feel similarly this Purim. 



Btw, typically in these Newsletters, I provide the what and the why about different relevant topics. And I keep the how for Our Virtual Online Course Members 🎉.  To learn more about how to help our children develop appropriate Self Awareness, Emotion Management and Social Skills, purchase our virtual course today! Take the first step towards raising healthy, and more confident children by learning our step-by-step program!


Social Skills Made Simple.


As a Purim gift to my Socially Appropriate-ish family, I will provide a how today! I am linking to a free handout click here!!



Hurt that your friend didn’t show up to your house? Frustrated that you can’t find all of your children to take a picture before their costumes fall apart? Jealous that your neighbors seem to have it all together- theme and all? Worried that you don’t have enough S’M and that you may get busted repurposing someone else’s S’M? Anxious that you need to be at one Rebbe at 1:15, and one teacher at 1:20 but they’re across town? Fear of your 3 year-old’s temper tantrum just when you’re about to leave the house? Actually. Fear of your 3 year old in general...  Excitement because really Purim is fun. Guilt that you don’t think Purim is fun at all! 


Let’s give ourselves a simple bracha or tefila this Purim: 


Please HaShem, may You help our insecure child love his costume, help our overly secure child not tease our insecure one, help our shy child have the confidence to answer the door for his friends, help our confident child have compassion to think about the kids in the class who would benefit from a visit. (But please, Hashem, let those kids live nearby since every stop counts!) May the rebbeim’s schedules work out with the traffic patterns. May the teachers still be home by the time we get there even though it is after their allotted time. May our children pose for a family picture. May their costumes stay on until we get a picture. May we have enough S’M to give out. May we find time to drink our coffee! May the 2 year old not tantrum and may the 5 year old love herself in her princess costume. May the 7 year old ninja boys be able to find their swords. And may the 12 year old boys love their gangster look and feel cool to themselves and to their friends. May the teenage girls figure out their costume and feel good in them - hard age for them, you know! And may the confetti not get all over our kitchen. And may we have time to daven! And may our kids not be embarrassed about our lack of theme. And may our kids stay throughout the day so that our perfectly planned theme is appreciated.  And please let me guess my neighbors’ costumes correctly so it’s not awkward.  And may the bachurim who come to collect not scare our little ones.  And may the boys stay sober-ish. And no vomit in the house. That’s a real no no. May the stink bombs not stink so badly and may the overly-confident (but not overly smart) boys not convince the other boys that e-cigs are actually healthy. And may the young wannabes not get tempted to smoke and drink. And may everyone stay safe! That’s a biggie… And may our cars stay clean-ish. And may we not sit on gum.  And may we get enough candy to keep our kids happy, but not too much that it’s just gross. And may our kids not notice all the candy we steal from them to give away. May the mask that our kids wanted to wear work out even though they can barely breathe, but they can’t take it off because it’s their whole costume. May the terrifying creepy old man mask not scare me. May the streamers not pull the paint off! And may the music blast loud enough to hear it, but not so loud we can’t hear ourselves think. But the music must definitely be playing, because it’s PURIM!!!  🎶


And may we be emotionally and mentally prepared for whichever parts of this bracha don’t come true.


Oh! Most importantly, May someone drop off a good lunch!! 


❤️, Shifi



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