Do I Ever Tell Clients: “You’re Crazy!” 🥴Jul 17, 2023
So it turns out in one of my recent sales emails, I inadvertently used a bunch of names that were actually part of one family. This family may not have believed me that it was completely innocuous but we all enjoyed a great laugh! The Brain works in mysterious ways. And since it provided such laughter - be on the lookout for more 💥Summer Sales Emails 💥 this week - we may just use your family names 😂!
Over the weekend someone, let’s call him Ezra, came over to me and asked me “Mrs. Lieberman, during a therapy session, do you ever just tell people that they’re crazy? Tell me the truth!” He continues “I mean there is no way that you sit in a session with some of your clients and don’t think to yourself - Man, this person is absolutely crazy!”
And you know what - at the moment, I wasn’t sure how to respond - though my mind was taking me to a place of gratitude that Ezra himself is not in the mental health field.
And my next reaction was: aren’t we all a little crazy? Who is not crazy? What does crazy mean anyway?
What is crazy?
Crazy is a word people use to talk about someone who acts or thinks in a way that seems very different from what is considered normal or expected in their society.
So it took me a minute, but here is my answer:
Coming to therapy is an intimate experience. The therapist-client relationship is often able to help uncover very private and vulnerable parts of the client. Who would not be self-conscious about showing and admitting to someone else the private thought processes and defense mechanisms and reactions that we have?
Thinking about it- maybe the process of self-awareness is “crazy”! Many of us can sound crazy as we dig deeper into our psyche and try to decipher our behaviors.
I know I would.
So what is the job of the therapist when our client's “crazy” is exposed? Do we point out their craziness and call it a day?
“I’m so sorry, but you are crazy! Session over. Have the best day!!” (The scene is making me really laugh…)
So… I think I speak for most therapists: We honestly don’t think in terms of “crazy”. In fact, anyone who walks in the door to therapy or to any process of self awareness, is showing courage and an openness that is, in my humble opinion, the opposite of “crazy.” Our job as therapists is to help make sense of the “crazy” that you may be feeling about yourself or how others may view your actions and reactions.
Our mission is to help our clients recognize that of course we think and feel those things, based on our experiences. Of course, we have a hard time with a specific trigger. And of course, we mean well and need to slow down our reactions. That does not mean we are “crazy.”
While it may be paradoxical, often clients report that coming to therapy helps them realize how sane they are. Many people who viewed themselves as “crazy” begin to realize that this crazy part of them was often really the radically sane part of them that refused to go along with the insanity around them.
The process of understanding our craziness - and we all have a little craziness, Ezra - becoming more self aware, often with the help of a therapist or, even better, a Virtual Course to watch yourself or with a spouse - which happens now to be on SALE 💥- is the process of developing as people, and learning what is driving us to act in certain ways, and when appropriate- what we need to do to make the necessary changes to better our relationships… and be a little less crazy!
Our virtual courses are an incredible resource to get to know yourself in an intimate way! Come hop on board!
Don’t be CRAZY! 🤪