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Behind Every Criticism is a…

Mar 30, 2022

Behind every criticism, is a wish. 

It is worth it to memorize this phrase by psychotherapist Esther Perel. Although criticism is typically expressed as disapproval of a behavior — it is often received or felt as a disapproval of the person. This is the case even if the critic does not intend to be demeaning. Because criticism is felt as a judgement, it causes distance, resentment, and other negative feelings between Criticizer and Criticizee (yes, made up that word and loving it 🎉). 

Instead of criticizing, we need to find our wish that lies behind the criticism and communicate just the wish. 

If you’re a chronic “Constructive Criticizer” then perhaps ask Criticizee if it’s actually constructive ;). Stating the desire or the wish is far more effective than pointing out what Criticizee did wrong.  For example, even though it may not be easy, we should still say “I’d love it if you’d put your socks in the hamper”. And avoid saying, “You are such a slob for never putting your socks in the hamper!” (Even though, seriously guys, just put the socks in the hamper!) 

If you or someone you love is a chronic criticizer, then… stop 🤣) 

And you will all enjoy the next few weeks so much more! Guaranteed. 

Short newsletter! 🎉

What are you going to do with the extra 3 minutes that you now have?!

 

❤️, Shifi 

 


 

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Anxiety Made Simple Overview! 

SHIFI LIEBERMAN, LMFT

What is Anxiety?

 

What is anxiety and when is it considered a disorder?

 

Profile/symptoms of an anxious child  

 

How do I know if my child is anxious?

 

Understanding Symptoms of Anxiety

5 Categories of Anxiety

 

Personal Anxiety Assessment

 

Learn a comprehensive questionnaire that will help you understand the dynamics in your family and the way it impacts the anxious child

 

Dealing with the “What If” Anxious Brain

 

The 5 Minute Rule

 

The 5 Question Rule

 

Panic Attacks

 

What is a panic attack?

 

How do I deal with a panic attack?

 

The 5 Most Common Mistakes Made when Dealing with Anxiety- And What to do Instead!

 

Learn what most parents do wrong and how to understand how to help your child manage anxiety! 

 

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  • Do I tell my child he has anxiety?

  • My child is anxious all the time. Now What?

  • How do I handle Catastrophic Thinking?

  • When is medication necessary? Thoughts about medication

  • How can we get our child used to an anxiety-inducing situation?

  • Is your child benefitting from his anxiety? If yes, now what?

  • How can we prepare anxious children for the worst case scenario?

  • How do we separate anxiety from the child’s identity?

  • How can we practice calming down from anxious thoughts?

  • How can I encourage my child to try something new?

  • How can I help my child fall asleep at night? 

  • How can we learn to accept our anxiety?

  • How do I answer 90% of an anxious child’s questions?

  • How do I deal with the other 10% of difficult questions?

  • How can I get an anxious child to bed? To try something new?

  • How do I help my young child who is afraid of family gatherings?
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  • Course Wrap-Up

  • Tips and Do’s and Don’ts for Anxiety

  • Closing Thoughts and What’s Next? 

  • FAQ!

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