Behind Every Criticism is a…Mar 29, 2022
Behind every criticism, is a wish.
It is worth it to memorize this phrase by psychotherapist Esther Perel. Although criticism is typically expressed as disapproval of a behavior — it is often received or felt as a disapproval of the person. This is the case even if the critic does not intend to be demeaning. Because criticism is felt as a judgement, it causes distance, resentment, and other negative feelings between Criticizer and Criticizee (yes, made up that word and loving it 🎉).
Instead of criticizing, we need to find our wish that lies behind the criticism and communicate just the wish.
If you’re a chronic “Constructive Criticizer” then perhaps ask Criticizee if it’s actually constructive ;). Stating the desire or the wish is far more effective than pointing out what Criticizee did wrong. For example, even though it may not be easy, we should still say “I’d love it if you’d put your socks in the hamper”. And avoid saying, “You are such a slob for never putting your socks in the hamper!” (Even though, seriously guys, just put the socks in the hamper!)
If you or someone you love is a chronic criticizer, then… stop 🤣)
And you will all enjoy the next few weeks so much more! Guaranteed.
Short newsletter! 🎉
What are you going to do with the extra 3 minutes that you now have?!
ANXIETY MADE SIMPLE.
A virtual course that you watch in the comfort of your own home.
Learn what therapists teach you in therapy!
So Convenient and Affordable.
BUY NOW! Pre-launch low price! ONLY $297!
Anxiety Made Simple Overview!
SHIFI LIEBERMAN, LMFT
What is Anxiety?
What is anxiety and when is it considered a disorder?
Profile/symptoms of an anxious child
How do I know if my child is anxious?
Understanding Symptoms of Anxiety
5 Categories of Anxiety
Personal Anxiety Assessment
Learn a comprehensive questionnaire that will help you understand the dynamics in your family and the way it impacts the anxious child
Dealing with the “What If” Anxious Brain
The 5 Minute Rule
The 5 Question Rule
What is a panic attack?
How do I deal with a panic attack?
The 5 Most Common Mistakes Made when Dealing with Anxiety- And What to do Instead!
Learn what most parents do wrong and how to understand how to help your child manage anxiety!
Learn Treatment Options to Do at Home! Covers the following questions and more!
Do I tell my child he has anxiety?
My child is anxious all the time. Now What?
How do I handle Catastrophic Thinking?
When is medication necessary? Thoughts about medication
How can we get our child used to an anxiety-inducing situation?
Is your child benefitting from his anxiety? If yes, now what?
How can we prepare anxious children for the worst case scenario?
How do we separate anxiety from the child’s identity?
How can we practice calming down from anxious thoughts?
How can I encourage my child to try something new?
How can I help my child fall asleep at night?
How can we learn to accept our anxiety?
How do I answer 90% of an anxious child’s questions?
How do I deal with the other 10% of difficult questions?
How can I get an anxious child to bed? To try something new?
- How do I help my young child who is afraid of family gatherings?
- And more techniques to learn!
Tips and Do’s and Don’ts for Anxiety
Closing Thoughts and What’s Next?
ALL THIS INFORMATION FOR LESS THAN TWO PRIVATE THERAPY SESSIONS!
Share the Socially Appropriate-ISH newsletter with a friend or family member!